Monday, February 16, 2009

Sam's resume

Sam needed to apply for daycare schools. To be a more impressive candidate, he put together a resume:

Samuel Izmaylov
XX Hudson St Apt XX, Jersey City, NJ xxxxx
cutesammy@cutesammy.comxx


EDUCATION:
The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania (In Utero)
Listened to second-year business school classes, including Marketing, Finance and Management courses

Prenatal Yoga Classses (In Utero)
Learned to kick mom in any position, even suspended upside down or horizontally

Deutsche Bank Securities, AG
Helped mom study for the Global Markets Boot Camp training by "organizing" her finance notes, throwing them around and chewing on them

COMPUTER SKILLS:
Can bang on the keyboard with fists very loudly
Has his own blog, boyizmaylov.blogspot.com

LANGUAGE AND VERBAL SKILLS:
Says "dah-dah", "mmm-dah", "bah-bah", and "ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma"

OTHER USEFUL SKILLS:
Can suck on his toes
Can throw toys at moving objects, such as his parents
Has a strong, resonant, commanding voice
Is able to fall asleep within 5 minutes of getting into the car

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Travelled to Mexico and Barbados in utero, and Florida at age 7 months
Became Dual Citizen at Age of 2 months (Russia and U.S.)

REFERENCES: Available upon request - please ask Noa Snook.

1 comment:

Nathan said...

(In Utero) = lolol.

Note: Noa can now talk and would love to be a reference. She can only talk about shoes, apples, mommy, and a few other objects. She can introduce herself by saying "hi" as well. But it is something to work with.