Sam's mom and dad had to fill out health surveys for their medical insurance provider. Since Sam is insured under the same plan, he thought he would add his two cents by filling out the survey too.
Q: Over the past 12 months, have you felt tension or stiffness or lack of flexibility in your spine?
A: That time I tried to suck on both of my big toes at the same time...
Q: Do you experience of moodiness or temper or angry outbursts?
A: When my parents don’t give me my favorite cookies.
Q: How satisfied are you with your job?
A: Seems like a pretty good gig… my meals are provided, there is always live entertainment, lots of opportunities for development, AND my boss insists on me taking a 3-hour nap in the middle of the day…
Q: Do you feel that you are overly concerned about small things?
A: I am very concerned about getting as many small things into my mouth as possible, although my parents usually don’t let me.
Q: Are you fidgety or restless; have difficulty sitting still?
A: Sitting still is for losers.
Q: Do you have good endurance and aerobic capacity?
A: Why walk when you can run? I jog all day long. Especially around the kitchen isle when my parents are trying to make food, and around the changing table when my parents are trying to change my diaper.
Q: Do you maintain physically challenging goals?
A: I try to stay in shape. My latest project is taking apart the living room couch by taking off all of its cushions and other soft parts and putting them on the floor, 5 reps daily.
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